Drama Llamas

We all know it exists. Although it is avoided at all costs, throughout the course of high school it is undoubtedly inevitable. Drama. And I’m not talking Shakespeare or the adventures of Dorothy. I’m talking about girl-drama. You know, the gossip, the rumors, and excessive backstabbing that seems to be a developmental stage in the life of every girl. My fellow sufferers of this black plague of adolescence; do not fret. It is simply that: a stage. Soon enough, it will pass, but here are some of my thoughts that will help you through the stress, angst, and general perturbed-ness of high school relationships.

The key to surviving high school is simple, yet ultimately complex at the same time. My theory is that the sooner you find “your people,” the sooner you will enjoy the impending years of high school. Create some standards when searching for friends. Maybe it involves having similar extracurricular activities or interests. Maybe you need a companion or confidant. Think about what you look for in a friend, and try to emulate that in your own behavior. Also, for your own sake, remain reserved. It’s better to wait and find a true friend before spouting your life story to anyone with ears. You’re less likely to get hurt and more likely to make a great friend.

Now, my objective is to defame some common myths about high school. First of all, high school is most definitely NOT the best time of your life. It’s up there, but I can argue to the death that the Little Mermaid and bubble baths were ten times more fun than ACT prep. FIRST remains to be the only exception I’ve seen in my wise years. Unless you’re into multiple-choice, then by all means, eat your heart out. Next, I’d like to remind everyone that despite popular belief, the terms “Just saying” “No offense” “Literally” “Like, like, like, you know what I mean” and “If I was you” do not justify the impending insult. Really, it doesn’t shroud anything. It doesn’t even soften the blow, it just lets you know it’s coming. As a blanket statement, say what you mean. If you wouldn’t appreciate it being said to you or about you, it’s best that you don’t say it either.

Gossip. Asking someone not to tell anyone what you’re about to tell them is counterintuitive. Unless you’re speaking to the most pious, trustworthy person around, the rumor will spread. Somewhere in the teenage brain, we are hardwired to talk and spread gossip unintentionally. Most times, things just slip out. To keep everyone content, it’s generally better not to confide in someone unless you completely trust the person. Parents and other influential adults are a much better rant option. Bless their souls, they don’t know much about what’s going on, but they certainly do an exquisite job at nodding and pretending. To limit possible intercessions by those dear elders, start off by stating your intent with the rant. Everything is either a rant or a serious issue where you require their assistance. Any other distinction will confuse them.

Now we approach the meat of the matter. What do I do when I’m fighting with someone? Fear not, Padawan. Take a deep breath. It’s really not as big of a deal as you think it is at the moment. Look at the situation and create a plan of action. You have a few options. You can confront them, confide in someone, think of resolutions, apologize, or a combination of the above ideas. Chances are, you are either facing a clash of personalities or a simple misunderstanding. If it is the latter, talk it through as mature people. No hair grabbing or scratching is necessary. Words will do just fine. Remember, their feelings are just as important as yours, so remain respectful. Here comes our best buddy, Gracious Professionalism. Keep it with you at all times, and never leave home without it. It’ll help you out in any dilemna and save some friendships along the way.  Compromise and conversation will not only erase your issue, but also give you an escape from the perils of drama. The stickier situation arises with personality clashes. Analyze the situation and measure the severity of the difference. If you have an archenemy that pushes all of your buttons and grinds all of your gears, it may be better to give yourself some space. If you clash on one issue, use compromising techniques and grow as a person through this conflict. It will not kill you; therefore it will inherently make you stronger. A note on serious issues: get help if you need help. Mentors and adults are here to work as mediators to make your team as productive as possible. In the end, everyone has strengths and shortfalls. If you play to everyone’s strengths, your team will succeed despite slight turbulence along the way. No matter what, work together. A great team wins, loses, and grows together.

That’s as much on the matter as I care to say at the moment. Leave some requests and I’ll add some additional commentary on how drama can be resolved in a less dramatic manner, therefore ending the he-said she-said cycle once and for all! Alas, that seems like too big a feat for one person. Nevertheless, I will keep trying. Stay flawless, FIRST girls.

Love,

HappBee